A Serendipity

Having a baby is like getting a serendipity for me. I get so many surprises in my life. Happy, annoying, sad, excited, proud, angry happens at one time. I grow my baby in firm way. Sometimes, I regret it. I look at her face while she's sleeping and I feel like I am the most cruel mom in the world. How can I shout at her when I first born her and carried her for almost 10 months in my womb. Ahhhhh.... No idea... When I am getting frustrated with others problems, I sometimes also get angry to her. It's just really not fair for her 😭😭😭😭😭 

Ya Allah... Pardon my all bad attitude. I want to change being better but when she begins to go uncontrolled I will shout again. I love her. I really love her. It's impossible if I don't love her. Pardon your bad mommy darl 😭😭😭😭😭... She loves me much much much more than I love her. I am always the first person who's called by her. Everything.... She puts all her life on me. I am so happy. This is a new experience. A feeling  and sensation to be "hero". 

It reminds me of my mother. She is the best mom I think. She introduced me of love. Love that undeniable great. Ahhhh.... I miss the feeling of getting nail cut in the morning, when i woke up, and realized that it was my mom who did it when i slept. It was so calming and ridiculous. But I feel one thing at that time, Love...

When will I be matured to grow my daughter in better ways? I should change. The new year is coming.... This is my resolution. Change. Being a better mom for my daughter. 😭😭😭😭 I have to. I love her. Time is running. She will grow fast. I don't want her growing with my bad attitude 😭😭😭😭 It will affect her personality. It's really not good for her future 😭😭😭😭... 

Bismillah, semangattttttt!!!!!!!

                            "Serenade"


Jika saja sang hujan mampu berkata,
Bertanya lah ia pada awan,
Mengapa kau leburkan aku dalam kalutmu wahai awan...
Sang awan pun bersua,
Kuleburkan kau dalam bahagia,
Hanya saja kau tak mengerti maksudku wahai hujan...

Jika saja sang jerebu mampu berkata,
Bertanya lah ia pada angin,
Mengapa kau tiupkan aku dalam asa mu wahai angin...
Sang angin pun bersua,
Kutiupkan kau dalam kenangan yang tak akan pernah tergerus masa,
Hanya saja kau tak mengerti maksudku wahai jerebu...



Desember, 2018

Yang Terlupakan

Been a longggggg time i didn't visit this blog. Maybe I am just too busy baking :). I am so curious to try so many recipes I got from instagram. I even baked a cheesecake recently. What a magic! and that's all I learn manually from others through INSTAGRAM. Seriously, Instagram really made my days and inspire many things on my life.
But.... IT seems that Those Instagram and all the the things inside can be a boomerang on my daily life. Sometimes, I pay less attention into my daughter whenever I am too focused playing on Instagram. That's the bad effect I think. or does it just depend on person. I mean maybe I have to control when the suitable time to play instagram, for example I can play Instagram only if my daughter sleeps. Aaaahhh... huahmmmmm Why is it so boring today wkwkwkwkw.
Aaaaa... i want to share my writing on this blog. Maybe next time I will write my short stories here.